Polly: Do you want to know the secret?

September 5th, 2011 by | No comments

In continuation of last week’s poll I thought it would be interesting to find out if the fans are actually interested in learning what the secret is. So, dear squawkers, do you want to know?

Polly: Do you want to know the secret?

  • Yes! Spill it, Ron! (65%, 40 Votes)
  • No! Keep it a mystery. (35%, 22 Votes)

Total Voters: 62

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Click here for last week’s result.

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Horizons: Filming a Monkey Island Movie (4)

September 4th, 2011 by | No comments

Let’s say that, through a miracle, you managed to make the third Monkey Island Movie a huge success. Everybody loves it, nobody thinks it’s similar to Pirates of the Caribbean and we’re happy. Hooray.

Good, but, the fans ask for more! They want Escape from Monkey Island: The Movie! So what are you going to do?

Well, besides bringing back the same actors (who, by now, should be filthy rich), you’re suddenly facing a problem: You have more extras than ever before. Well, not exactly extras, more like very unimportant roles but vital to the atmosphere of the movie (for example, the waitress in the LUA Bar).

Ok, let’ say you casted everyone, found an old man willing to play Ozzie Mandrill and Herman Toothrot’s actor is still alive. Good. Also, don’t worry about the old Teacher, Miss Rivers, I can talk with my old math teacher. That woman is a copy/paste phenomenon of Miss Rivers herself. At least, she was when I played the game. Don’t know if she’s still alive though, but we’ll think of something. Moving on!

But what about the scenery? We’re not talking about building a few cottages for the cannibals or renting a hotel for the Goodsoup family scenes… nonono, we’re talking about Planet Threepwood! We’re talking about having a big schoolhouse right on the beach! Did I mention that the same beach should be covered in boulders?

Well, if you had a choice so far, now it’s not a choice anymore: you must go CGI. Just thinking about building all that would cost you more than you could imagine and I honestly don’t see how you could rent yourself the Second Biggest Monkeyhead you’ve Ever Seen. Yes, okay, maybe some of those scenes were used in previous Monkey Island movies but, as a counter-argument, you DO need to make it all look fresh again. Otherwise, the public will be like: “Oh, they ran out of ideas and started re-using sets… boooring!”.

Music, you know what to do… Costumes, you can figure stuff out by now… But you are facing a lot of new effects here, from LeChuck’s constant transformations to the Giant robot Fight at the End! CGI again… I’m starting to understand George Lucas, honestly. CGI is faster and cheaper!

But it still doesn’t make up for bad story-telling.

Overall, you still need the same amount of work (if not even more) as you did for Curse of Monkey Island. Financially speaking, this is starting to look pretty grim, even with all the optimism in the world. The story itself may work in a video game, but as a movie… heh, you will lose money.

Giant Monkey Robot? …hm…yeah, you will lose money.

No worries, after you go bankrupt you still have to make Tales of Monkey Island! Fortunately, the situation is simpler here.

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Weekly Wiki: Jungle Beast

September 1st, 2011 by | No comments

The Jungle Beast of Flotsam Island lives deep within the jungles and is never seen. Only Hemlock McGee seems to believe in it, and his depiction of it hangs in Club 41. He tells the story of how meaty sacrifices are left on the altar in the jungle at night and disappear before the morning, with a foul stench left behind.

Guybrush Threepwood can track the monster by dousing his offering in sugar water, leaving a trail of fireflies for him to follow. The beast turns out to be a meat-eating plant. Guybrush can retrieve a lion’s paw from its mouth; it retains the beast’s terrible smell and is an ingredient in the “Feast for the Senses” used to embiggen La Esponja Grande.

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