Kauff is back!!

July 22nd, 2010 by | 13 comments

Yes, dear fans! Kauff is finally back! Oh yes, and Gustav too…sort of…

The good ol’ Doctor has answered your questions and *drum roll* from now on he will appear EVERY FRIDAY! So gather up your questions, mysteries and mind-puzzling inquiries, and join us as we try to unravel the World’s biggest enigmas!

(woah, that sounded epic! By the way, did you know that the drawings in the logo above were made by MonkeyMania? Thanks matey!)

Posted in Ask a Monkeyologist

13 Responses to “Kauff is back!!”

  1. ser_pounce says:

    Dear Doctor,

    I have finally managed to obtain a Dark Ninja Dave action figure. Unfortunately…..my cat ate it.

    Please help.

  2. prizna says:

    Dear Doctor,

    I used my dog in a spell to help me leave the crossroads and after the spell was complete he vanished and I don’t know how to get him back.

    Please help.

  3. prizna says:

    Dear Doctor,

    My first mate is obsessed with the ships map, and he won’t stop asking me to point at it, it’s all he talks about and it’s really getting on my nerves, could you please help me with his obsession before I TAKE THE MAP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS, well you know where.

  4. Haggis says:

    Teehee! πŸ˜€

  5. OzzieMonkey says:

    Dear doctor,
    I have been a Monkey Island fan for many years, but noone I know seems to “get it”. What can I do to help more people appreciate the series and the genre of point-and click as a whole? (yes, this is a non-silly question).

  6. おひおh says:


  7. AwsomeEddiejo says:

    Dear doctor.
    My friend made a head b clear drink and now he is sleeping on the floor how will i wake him up?

  8. guimero64 says:

    Dear Doctor,
    yesterday I accidentally ripped off the head of the voodoo doll of an unknown person and I’m kind of scared about what were the consequences. How can I repair this error and will the victim be able to live without his head? Will I go to prison for what I’ve done? I wonder how it feels to have head…

    What should I do?

    P.S: No need to answer to the “wonder-how-it-feels” question, I just realized that it was a voodoo doll of myself… Now I have a head-ache, How can I cure myself if I can’t find my head?

  9. Hunterwolf says:

    These episodes get better every time! Great performance and again you managed to do it without having to cut a single time (not counting the bit where you watch the dvd).

    I’m impressed and amazed yet again πŸ˜€

    Questions for you?
    I already asked you something and I dont feel like thinking of something absurd right now – maybe next time πŸ˜‰

  10. Manda says:

    Oop ack chee Kauff,

    oop oop eep chee ack oop eep chee chee ack, eep chee ack ack oop eep chee ARGH! Ack ack oop chee eep chee chee ugawuga?

    C.E.: Oop ack ack CHEE EEP EEP!*

    (*Dear Doctor Kauff,

    while I was roaming through the woods of Monkey Island last week, I encountered a raving mad monkey that insulted me so bad it forced me to communicate via these nonsense syllables in the process and since I cannot get rid of it, it is freaking me out! How can I find a cure to this cruel spell?

    P.S.: Please HELP ME!)

  11. tabstis says:

    Dear Doctor,

    Since the death of Santino, I fear that my life is no longer worth living. I know that it would not be right to hunt down and kill Guybrush Threepwood but I see no other way that I can finally come to terms with the death of the greatest, most noble pirate there ever was. How can I go on??

    P.S I also miss Franklin…FRANKLIN!

  12. tabstis says:

    Dear Doctor,

    I’m really stuck at life – I’m at the bit where you have to get a girlfriend but I can’t get the pulley since there is a guard there. I’ve got 282 pieces of eight, a monkey, a hammer, some nails, a key to the shed, a fishing rod and a book on voodoo spells.

    What do I do now?

  13. Setarkos says:

    Dear Herr von Diefendorf,

    I have a huge problem and need help from a professional monkeyologist. Do you know how to contact Doctor Gustav von Schneider? I heard that he’s the best.

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