Ask Kuestions!

August 12th, 2011 by | 18 comments

Hello friends!

We are getting ready to film the Season 2 finale of Ask a Monkeyologist. Aaaand we kind of ran out of questions for Kauff.

Gustav has some, Dumpling321 has some…even Mahguy Verr has some! But not Kauff, and he is sad.

It is completely possible that we might have missed questions along the way and we apologize for that. Please feel free to submit them again in the comments section of this post!

We’re not talking about the questions from last episodes, those are being answered right now, no worries… but in case you asked something at the beginning of season 2 and we accidentally skipped over your question, just write it again. 🙂

For the season finale we need at least 10-15 more questions. One per Patient, please. Oh and, also, the shorter, the better. 🙂 Kauff likes questions but he’d like to answer ten per episode rather than 1 long story-telling book-excerpt.

We have prepared an extra-special season ending for you awesome people. I cannot reveal more yet… but if it’s taking so long to prepare, you do realize that it’s something special 😀

Thank you!


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Posted in Ask a Monkeyologist

18 Responses to “Ask Kuestions!”

  1. Dibel says:

    I have the suspicion that my wife is trying to kill me. She cooked me some strange mushrooms that I´ve never seen before and didn´t want to eat them herself. What should I do?

  2. ser_pounce says:

    Dear The Best Monkeyolgist Ever (aka Kauff),

    How do you deal with a difficult workplace? The managers just criticise & criticise. Do you think this is a situation where justifiable homicide might apply?

    Thank you O Mighty Kauff,

    Ser Pounce

  3. dumpling321 says:

    Dear friend,

    when life hands me lemons why do I have to squeeze out a smile? Why can’t I just use them as projectiles to knock out the person who handed them to me, and then eat their brains with a nice lemon garnish?

    • dumpling321 says:

      sorry edit:

      Dear friend,

      when life hands me lemons why do I have to squeeze out a smile, or make lemonaid? Why can’t I just use them as projectiles to knock out the person who handed them to me, and then eat their brains with a nice lemon garnish?

  4. dumpling321 says:

    hey! You might have missed this one, a friend of mine posted it,

    Trench says:
    November 28, 2010 at 8:17 pm
    Dear Doctor
    Dumpling321 has eaten my wife and escaped before I could seek out my revenge on him. My profession cannot be disclosed for specific reasons (other wise I would have to kill you) and need help locating him so I may seek out revenge on dumpling321 for eating her brain. I have vowed to destroy him and all that his kind stands for, and shall not rest until he is gone.


  5. Lombre says:

    Dear Kauff,
    When you were a boy, what did you want to be when you grew up? Have you always dreamed of a career in Monkeyology, or did you originally want to be something else, like a fireman or a marine biologist?
    Your pal,

  6. Bildad says:

    (Resubmitted from episode 5)

    Dear Cough von Deafeneddwarf and Goosetough von Shunhider,
    You got one name wrong in your show. It’s not Mahguy Verr, It’s McGuybrush.
    Yours, Bildad.

    (After this message, it would be nice to see a flashback of SE1EP10, but this is just a suggestion.)

  7. Katiska says:

    Dearest Gustav and Kauff,

    Since you are both Monkeyologists, I would assume you know some fair deal about hex’s right? The Voodoo Lady won’t speak to me about this at all. I made the mistake of telling her what I thought about her cooking.

    What happens is every time the sun rises on Melee Island, the landscape and people change into a monstrous adaptation of the island. And when the sun sets, the island goes back to normal. It seems I’m the only one that notices. And no, I have stopped drinking Grog since my incident with the three-headed monkeys.

    So what can I do, apart from sleeping during the day, to fix this?

    Thank you both for your insight,

    P.S. – Gustav: is your cat seeing someone?

  8. Katiska says:

    …Wait a minute. Gustav does not have a cat. Oops. I meant Kauff. 🙁

  9. HaydenWCE says:

    Dear Doctor,
    Cats are known to always land on their feet; are monkeys the same? And has there been any testing in regards to this theory?

  10. mister bier says:

    dear doctor kauff,

    why do season 2 has to end?
    will there be a season 3? or maybe a MOVIE?

  11. Haggis says:

    Dear Kauff,

    What advice would you give to someone who is writing a book?

    Your fan,


  12. guimero64 says:

    I keep the wriggling beard of an undead pirate in my pants… Am I normal?

  13. Tolpiwan says:

    Dear Doctor Kauff von Diefendorff,

    flying Monkeys (but also Doves) love to sit on my balcony. And they do bad things there – really bad things, like things one does not want to talk let alone think about (they eat each others brains and then fly away – well, never said anything about writing, did I?).

    What should I do? It is not like I can tell them to stop doing, what they are doing but can I stop them from doing it on my balcony?

    With happy friendly greeting


  14. Haggis says:

    Dear Doctor,

    I have a friend who is addicted to My Little Pony. He is so obsessed with ponies that it’s beginning to interfere with his everyday life. What can I do to help him?

  15. The Highway says:

    Mr Kauff von Diefendorf, may I inquire; have you ever experienced the wonder of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?

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